Thank you, Next

Lets take it back to where it started. Bobby ( remember we changed names here).

I remember being in high school and dating my first “serious” boyfriend. For context, we are talking about the 90’s so serious then was holding hands and kissing with occasional touching.

I don’t truly remember how I met him but he didn’t go to my school and I liked it that way. We started hanging out and I knew pretty soon I liked him. Probably because he gave me attention, because I clearly wasn’t big on standards at this point. I met his parents and sister and of course enjoyed spending time with any semi normal family.

I was NOT healthy during this time period so there were A LOT of texting and emotional days. I remember waiting for him to call, hoping he wanted to hang out, and ultimately feeling like I was tricking him into hanging out because he would have rather spent time with his friends. I would wake up early to come over and spend the early early morning with him until he had plans with his friends. We would lay in bed and watch movies and talk, which was nice, but he didn’t plan any real dates or make much effort.

Until we broke up. I thought I was in love with him and one day he texted me it was over because I was wanting to interfere with the time with his friends. He then refused to answer any calls or texts. This was wayyy before ghosting so of course I called him 5151512 times. No response.

I was heart broken and drove to his house a day or so later knowing he would be leaving for work ( just to try and see him). I did end up seeing him but he was with his brother and I wasn’t THAT crazy so I just proceed to beg and plead for him to talk to me via text. He ultimately refused.

So I did the next totally rational thing. Played JOJO ” Get out” as loud as I could and drove home crying.

The next few months were really hard for me and I remember it taking MONTHS before I wouldn’t have to stop myself from attempting to reach out or wanting to talk to him.

I ultimately moved on but I didn’t learn the lesson from this until later on. In fact if anything in this moment I felt terrible and not good enough. I rebounded though and met several other unhealthy humans you will learn about on the way.

Fast forward to about 2014 ( approx. 8 years later)

I was out at a bar with a few friends after experiencing a traumatic grief and loss ( not the healthy way to cope AT ALL) and ran into Bobby. It DID NOT MATTER what he looked like because allll of the old feels and lack of closure rushed back to me in this drunken moment.

After drinking and talking with our separate parties, we some how began messaging each other and Bobby ended up back at my place to hook up. DURING this experience two amazing things happened. One I realized that he was NOT good in bed and that made me happy #sorrynotsorry &. 2. He called me his girlfriends name by accident which helped me realize what a bullet I dodged.

I felt guilty of course for his girlfriend and I don’t remember if I asked which brings me to my lessons learned.

• ALWAYS ask if the person you are hooking up with has a significant other. It is NEVER implied
• I am worthy and deserving of amazing love not mediocre love
• I do not need someone else in my bed when I feel lonely. It can make you feel more lonely, I only need myself

Thank you for the lessons, NEXT